Blue Heaven Blue Flame

Have you ever…ever…felt so so trapped….so so so trapped….that
the only way out put is up…or down….well um… I know this
person….goes by the name of Jaiz…lately….actually quite long
already…he has been living in a virtual prison which seems to be
transforming it self into what seemd very real…he faced every problem
that came along the way…but that didn’t mean he was always
victorios….often he came out beaten up…but at least he was daring
to step up…that’s one quality not many people are daring to embrace
in this world nowadays…Jaiz never kisses up…and he never
will…even his parents dont seem to understand him….or maybe they
did not want to…and the person that he thought would truly understand
him…or at least TRY to understand him, now accuses him of not
thinking before talking….when he has told her MANY MANY times  why he
talks like that….he told her that he was afraid…afraid of
what?…history..His personal history…wont you be afraid if you have
been cheated once?…but look at Jaiz….he was hurt real bad….but
then he thought life was worth more than this…more than fear….why
should fear become his dictator…fear was never his God..in fact he
has told an elder,  it was going to be very very difficult for him to
trust anyone anymore…but at least he is trying…..he IS….so back
to Jaiz…Jaiz told her many things….told her why he did not mix with
certain kind of people last time….yea, he had some prejudice…and
now he was confessing his mistakes…and she, maybe she couldnt take it
in at that moment…felt insulted…..all Jaiz told her was how people
treated him for being a mix blood…even Jaiz’ OWN family treated him
and his family like dirt…till this very day……..which resulted in
Jaiz cutting all ties with anyone from his own race….how would you
feel if someone treated you like a dog?…*sobs*….he is only a boy
for heaven’s sake…what is WRONG with the world??>..why were they
so proud over their own race!!!…arent we all Adam’s fruits?!?…I
dont want to mention the races that are involved…I dont have
too…Jaiz is part of it…but please….doesnt love conquer all??…so
must 2 people with the same race only  spend a life together?..I dont
understand…I am confused…anyway…sorry for straying off
AGAIN….rite, Jaiz….hemmm…so…yea…Jaiz was just
confessing…and she felt insulted, who can blame her…..Jaiz gets
more dirt for BOTH his race and religion…but he tries allrite..he
tries very hard…he knows….there is a treasure waiting for him…and
he’ll wait..till then he aint going to slow down….

Another thing about Jaiz….he never complains…okey..maybe he
does….but he doesnt seek for pity…that I am sure…if he is pitied
and people know noe he feels…he would be thankful…but he is not
going to ASK people to pity him…by blurting out all his probs…he
stores em up…stores em up…until now it seem to be eating him
inside…but he TRIES to stop it..he tries….I am so happy no matter
how down he is…he always wanted to get back on his feet and not walk
but RUN!!..that is Jaiz…he wakes up in the morning….thanks the good
LORD for giving him another day to live in this cruel world…if
someone else was in Jaiz condition…they would be questioning their
life in their prayers…Jaiz was no iron man….he teared allright…in
fact, he is doing just that right now…but he has come to a point
where he doesnt even want to let his troubles be known to the
ALMIGHTY..cuz he KNOWS, things could be worst…he would always use the
words "at least…" …..he puts on a happy face always…whlile others
sulk…and you know something people??…the people that stores
everything inside are the people that are most broken….things are
more then meets the eye….next time ya’ll wanna read a person….dont
look at his smile…dont look at his behaviour…look at his eyes…and
you can see whther there is a ’sunshine’ or ’storm’ within his heart
thru his God-given ‘windows’…

Jaiz trusts you…you know he WANTS to….and you are the ONLY person
that he can run to rite now…but you gotta try to understand
Jaiz…forgive him if sometimes he tells you LOTS of stuff…but he is
serious bout it…he MEANS it…when he says he is afraid…he REALLY
is…but yet, he still told you to go ahead with it….when he is
sorry, he means it…he WANTS to make up for it…no  matter what it
takes…so why dont you gave him a chance…..one more thing…before
telling Jaiz off next time….at least know why of all people…why is
he teiing YOU all this…and THEN you can tell him off….not going
todeny it….he is goin to feel hurt anyway…but he will never let you
know…to him…you are more important then his own feelings….hw
doesnt want to lose you…and I think he told you that many times..and
he has been doing lots of things lately for your well being…things
which you’ll never know…but you’ll receive all of its benefit….so
behind that mischeveous smile..that wide eyes..with dark rings…behind
all the chains…guards…people….you know he actually has
nothing…and he really wants you….just TRY to understand…he wants
someone that would continuously TRY…to walk beside him….he wants
someone who never gives up…he doesnt anyone who is
strong….smart…active…all that just sont carry any value in his
eyes…so that is Jaiz for you….