Blue Heaven Blue Flame

Artist Name- Hinder

Song lyrics- Lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late It's kinda hard to talk right now Honey why you crying is everything okay I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voicesaying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I don't never wanna say goodbyeBut girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel 

It's funny that you're calling me tonight And yes I've dreamt of you too And does he know you're talking to me Will it start a fight No I don't think she has a clue Well my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel 

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name It sounds so sweet Coming from the lips of an angel Hearing those words it makes me weak And I never wanna say goodbye But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel (And I never wanna say goodbye) But girl you make it hard to be faithful With the lips of an angel Honey why are you calling me so late

(Now
                    dad this is a very sensitive subject)

(Just
                    the two of us, yeah)
                    Just the two of us (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us (Just the two of us)

From
                    the first time the doctor placed you in my arms
                    I knew I’d meet death before I’d let you meet harm
                    Although questions arose in my mind, would I be man enough
                    Against wrong, choose right and be standing up
                    From the hospital that first night
                    Took a hour just ta get the car seat in right
                    People driving all fast, got me kinda upset
                    Got you home safe, placed you in your bassinette
                    That night I don’t think one wink I slept
                    As I slipped out my bed, to your crib I crept
                    Touched your head gently, felt my heart melt
                    Cause I knew I loved you more than life itself (life itself)
                    Then to my knees, and I begged the Lord please
                    Let me be a good daddy, all he needs
                    Love, knowledge, discipline too
                    I pledge my life to you

Just
                    the two of us, we can make it if we try
                    Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
                    Just the two of us, you and I

Five
                    years old, bringing comedy
                    Every time I look at you I think man, a little me
                    Just like me
                    Wait and see gonna be tall
                    Makes me laugh cause you got your dads ears an all
                    Sometimes I wonder, what you gonna be
                    A General, a Doctor, maybe a emcee
                    Ha ha I wanna kiss you all the time
                    But I will test that butt when you cut out of line, tru dat
                    Uh ah why you do that
                    I try to be a tough dad, but you be making me laugh
                    Crazy joy, when I see the eyes of my baby boy
                    I pledge to you, I will always do
                    Everything I can
                    Show you how to be a man
                    Dignity, integrity, honour and
                    And I don’t mind if you lose, long as you came with it
                    And you can cry, ain’t no shame it it
                    It didn’t work out with me an your mom
                    But yo push come to shove
                    You was conceived in love
                    So if the world attacks, and you slide off track
                    Remember one fact, I got your back

Just
                    the two of us, we can make it if we try
                    Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
                    Just the two of us, you and I

Just
                    the two of us, we can make it if we try
                    Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
                    Just the two of us, you and I

It’s
                    a full-time job to be a good dad
                    You got so much more stuff than I had
                    I gotta study just to keep with the changing times
                    101 Dalmations on your CD-ROM
                    See me I’m
                    Trying to pretend I know
                    On my PC where that CD go
                    But yo, ain’t nothing promised, one day I’ll be gone
                    Feel the strife, but trust life does go wrong (life goes on)
                    But just in case
                    It’s my place
                    To impart
                    One day some girl’s gonna break your heart
                    And ooh ain’t no pain like from the opposite sex
                    Gonna hurt bad, but don’t take it out on the next, son
                    Throughout life people will make you mad
                    Disrespect you and treat you bad
                    Let God deal with the things they do (things they do)
                    Cause hate in your heart will consume you too
                    Always tell the truth, say your prayers (prayers)
                    Hold doors, pull out chairs, easy on the swears
                    You’re living proof that dreams do come true
                    I love you and I’m here for you

Just
                    the two of us, we can make it if we try
                    Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
                    Just the two of us, you and I
                    -repeat-

Taking
                    on the world taking on the world
                    (I’m always here for you)
                    Look over your shoulder I’ll be there
                    (Whatever you need just call on me)
                    We gonna rise we gonna shine
                    (Whatever you need I’ll be there for you any time)

Just
                    the two of us, we can make it if we try
                    Just the two of us, (Just the two of us)
                    Just the two of us, building castles in the sky
                    Just the two of us, you and I
                    Daddy loves you daddy loves you for the rest of your life
                  (This is a good song dad, how much am I getting paid for this)

Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the Healer set me free
I’m happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down

I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever

Oh I feel like dancing
It’s foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance with joy like we’re dancing now

I came into existence,
To travel a life of distance,
Over scorching deserts, bone piercing blizzards,
Day and night, haunted by hazard.

Draw me close to You

Never let me go

I lay it all down again

To hear You say that I’m Your friend

You are my desire

No one else will do

Cause nothing else could take Your place

To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find the way,     bring me back to You

You’re all I want

You’re all I’ve ever needed

You’re all I want

Help me know You are near

    Look At You

You Look At Me

(You Can’t Help It You’re Feeling Butterflies)

Its obvious,

We have Chemistry

(I think I know it cuz it feels so right)

Girl I wanted so long to know

Now Your telling me you gotta let it go

(Dont Tell Me I have to start all over again)

I Never thought that this day would come

(This is somthing that i’ve wanted in my life)

I relize that you’re the one

(and you’re telling me its time to say goodbye)

To Put this out of my heart It ain’t gonna change

So it shouldn’t be so easy to walk away

(You feel it I feel it lets not be tense)

(Chorus)

Baby, I Don’t Know What Love Is

Maybe I’m A Fool

I Just Know What I’m Feeling

And It’s All Because Of You

Don’t Tell Me

I Don’t Know

I Want The Truth

Cuz They Call It

We Call It

You Call It

I Call It Love

It’s so clear for you to see

(dont let anybody tell you what to do)

Why they can’t they just let us be happy

(i dont want to find somebody new)

If you know whats real in your heart

Then dont let them tear us apart

(Cuz you feel it I feel it Lets think this through)

(Chorus)

Baby, I Don’t Know What Love Is

Maybe I’m A Fool

I Just Know What I’m Feeling

And It’s All Because Of You

Don’t Tell Me

I Don’t Know

I Want The Truth

Cuz They Call It

We Call It

You Call It

I Call It Love

(Break)

We Have a bond thats unbreakable

And its not time to let it go

And now that we know its real

We are going to let it show

To the whole world

That I’m yours forever

and you’re my girl

(Chorus)

Baby, I Don’t Know What Love Is

Maybe I’m A Fool

I Just Know What I’m Feeling

And It’s All Because Of You

Don’t Tell Me

I Don’t Know

I Want The Truth

Cuz They Call It

We Call It

You Call It

I Call It Love

Love

They Call It Love

I Call it

Love                    -Lionel Ritchie featuring Neo

*FINALLY!!..A REAL LOVE SONG!!!..Rock on Lionel and  Ne-Yo!!*

Yea…so…this is defenitely one of the most typical topics..you have
ever come across…DEPRESSION..ANXIETY…STRESS…these are part of
life….just like the water is part of the sea…how can you have a sea
without water…similiarly..you cant have life without these
things…if you dont go thru these feelings…you are not LIVING…even
a paralysed person go thru these emotions…but the thing that
differentiates one person from another when speaking in this context is
how they handle it….in other words..their capacity to take the dirt
that gets thrown to them in life…no one on earth is born with a super
strong heart…I mean common…get REAL…everyone GETS hurt…some
show them and some dont…some people resort to self abuse and some,
abuse others…both is JUST as BAD…why??…okey let me ask you
this…can you make the hair on your head turn white right now by self
control…no using dye or anything ok??..basically what I am trying to
say is..you did not create your life..therefore what right do you have
to take it away??…hmm easier said then done isnt it??…and
yea…hurting others??…you did not create them either….what right
have you actually to inflict pain on them…this go to adults too…you
did not create life…when you have a baby..life was created IN
you..YOU did not create it…every child is a gift from God…your
responsibilty is to nuture the child…nuturing and abusing are 2
different things…nuture is to mould one into a better person even if
it includes pain at times (spare the rod spoil the child)…on the
other hand…to abuse is to inflict pain and NOTHING else whether
mentally or physically…

Diamonds are forever,

Chris J

Buy Me A Rose

He works hard to give her all he thinks she wants

A three car garage, her own credit cards

He pulls in late to wake her up with a kiss good night

If he could only read her mind, she'd say:

Buy me a rose, call me from work

Open a door for me, what would it hurt

Show me you love me by the look in your eyes

These are the little things I need the most in my life

Now the days have grown to years of feeling all alone

And she can't help but wonder what she's doing wrong

Cause lately she'd try anything to turn his head

Would it make a difference if she said:

Buy me a rose, call me from work

Open a door for me, what would it hurt

Show me you love me by the look in your eyes

These are the little things I need the most in my life

And the more that he lives the less that he tries

To show her the love that he hold inside

And the more that she gives the more that he sees

This is a story of you and me

So I bought you a rose on the way home from work

Opened the door to a heart that I hurt

And I hope you notice this look in my eyes

Cause I'm gonna make things right

I'm gonna hold you tonight

Do all those little things

For the rest of your life.        

-Kenny Rogers/ Luther Vandross

Have you ever…ever…felt so so trapped….so so so trapped….that
the only way out put is up…or down….well um… I know this
person….goes by the name of Jaiz…lately….actually quite long
already…he has been living in a virtual prison which seems to be
transforming it self into what seemd very real…he faced every problem
that came along the way…but that didn’t mean he was always
victorios….often he came out beaten up…but at least he was daring
to step up…that’s one quality not many people are daring to embrace
in this world nowadays…Jaiz never kisses up…and he never
will…even his parents dont seem to understand him….or maybe they
did not want to…and the person that he thought would truly understand
him…or at least TRY to understand him, now accuses him of not
thinking before talking….when he has told her MANY MANY times  why he
talks like that….he told her that he was afraid…afraid of
what?…history..His personal history…wont you be afraid if you have
been cheated once?…but look at Jaiz….he was hurt real bad….but
then he thought life was worth more than this…more than fear….why
should fear become his dictator…fear was never his God..in fact he
has told an elder,  it was going to be very very difficult for him to
trust anyone anymore…but at least he is trying…..he IS….so back
to Jaiz…Jaiz told her many things….told her why he did not mix with
certain kind of people last time….yea, he had some prejudice…and
now he was confessing his mistakes…and she, maybe she couldnt take it
in at that moment…felt insulted…..all Jaiz told her was how people
treated him for being a mix blood…even Jaiz’ OWN family treated him
and his family like dirt…till this very day……..which resulted in
Jaiz cutting all ties with anyone from his own race….how would you
feel if someone treated you like a dog?…*sobs*….he is only a boy
for heaven’s sake…what is WRONG with the world??>..why were they
so proud over their own race!!!…arent we all Adam’s fruits?!?…I
dont want to mention the races that are involved…I dont have
too…Jaiz is part of it…but please….doesnt love conquer all??…so
must 2 people with the same race only  spend a life together?..I dont
understand…I am confused…anyway…sorry for straying off
AGAIN….rite, Jaiz….hemmm…so…yea…Jaiz was just
confessing…and she felt insulted, who can blame her…..Jaiz gets
more dirt for BOTH his race and religion…but he tries allrite..he
tries very hard…he knows….there is a treasure waiting for him…and
he’ll wait..till then he aint going to slow down….

Another thing about Jaiz….he never complains…okey..maybe he
does….but he doesnt seek for pity…that I am sure…if he is pitied
and people know noe he feels…he would be thankful…but he is not
going to ASK people to pity him…by blurting out all his probs…he
stores em up…stores em up…until now it seem to be eating him
inside…but he TRIES to stop it..he tries….I am so happy no matter
how down he is…he always wanted to get back on his feet and not walk
but RUN!!..that is Jaiz…he wakes up in the morning….thanks the good
LORD for giving him another day to live in this cruel world…if
someone else was in Jaiz condition…they would be questioning their
life in their prayers…Jaiz was no iron man….he teared allright…in
fact, he is doing just that right now…but he has come to a point
where he doesnt even want to let his troubles be known to the
ALMIGHTY..cuz he KNOWS, things could be worst…he would always use the
words "at least…" …..he puts on a happy face always…whlile others
sulk…and you know something people??…the people that stores
everything inside are the people that are most broken….things are
more then meets the eye….next time ya’ll wanna read a person….dont
look at his smile…dont look at his behaviour…look at his eyes…and
you can see whther there is a ’sunshine’ or ’storm’ within his heart
thru his God-given ‘windows’…

Jaiz trusts you…you know he WANTS to….and you are the ONLY person
that he can run to rite now…but you gotta try to understand
Jaiz…forgive him if sometimes he tells you LOTS of stuff…but he is
serious bout it…he MEANS it…when he says he is afraid…he REALLY
is…but yet, he still told you to go ahead with it….when he is
sorry, he means it…he WANTS to make up for it…no  matter what it
takes…so why dont you gave him a chance…..one more thing…before
telling Jaiz off next time….at least know why of all people…why is
he teiing YOU all this…and THEN you can tell him off….not going
todeny it….he is goin to feel hurt anyway…but he will never let you
know…to him…you are more important then his own feelings….hw
doesnt want to lose you…and I think he told you that many times..and
he has been doing lots of things lately for your well being…things
which you’ll never know…but you’ll receive all of its benefit….so
behind that mischeveous smile..that wide eyes..with dark rings…behind
all the chains…guards…people….you know he actually has
nothing…and he really wants you….just TRY to understand…he wants
someone that would continuously TRY…to walk beside him….he wants
someone who never gives up…he doesnt anyone who is
strong….smart…active…all that just sont carry any value in his
eyes…so that is Jaiz for you….

Okey…here I am again,fingers moving
fast…yea…I havent been posting anything lately, how long has it
been again??..dunno la…it’s not that nothin interesting din pop
up…lots and lots of stuff happened…jzu malas wanna arrange them
into words la…but this time I got something REALLY REALLY
interesting!!…but ya’ll might think I am crazy la…but sorry,life is
too short,i gotta celebrate it and try to share it with anyone and
hopefully this wild spirtit of mine might be able inspire and even safe
some of those out there….Okey…here it goes…

    It was a friday, wesak day to be precise,12th May 2006 to be MORE
precise hehe!!!….so  it was a public holiday here in my place…it
was actually during our mid tem exam period…all form 5 students of
malacca were suppose to sit for these papers in sync…em…and my add
maths is BAD!!seriously BAAAAADDD…okokey la…at least the form 4
syllabus la…honey moon wat last year…so…telokop la…***to form 4
students,concentrate in calsss please***…anyway…so I told a couple
of  my buddies to come over so that we can do some practise on add
maths..Cisco came at 10.15 am…and we really did cover quite a bit I
would say…then Yan Sern came along at about 1pm…i thought he was
going to seriously study,but after a few sums he started complaining
bout add maths,we were all in my room by the way…on the FLOOR!!!..not
doin anything else but studying la!!!..haiz..ya’ll
ah…tsk…tsk…LOL…nyways..he suddenly from there went on to life
and all…as in really far into the future…sampai..wanted to have a
supreme family la…wanted to have empire la…then we suddenly fell
into the topic of business strategies hahahah…we  went all the way
from Italy to China then India,Sri Lanka…Africa oso got…and finally
back to Malaysia…we din really go to these places la…we were talkin
bout civilization and all,use la IQ a bit…haiz..okey..then he started
talkin bout WIFE pulak!!!..haiz!!!…that dude!!!…visionary
man!!!..optimistic…!!…proactive!!!…you name it man..hahah..oni
thing add math can not do,others all he pretty good la…strange
eh??..memang cuz that is exactly the theme of this
post-STRANGE-hehe..so it’s goin to be long….em…okey back to
"wives"…this is pretty hilarious..haha…Sid always said he wanted a Japanese wife but a he oso wanted to preserve his Hainanese line…so we told him to go find a Japanese Hainan…hahahaah….he said that made sense but was hard to do…dat fella double minded one la…haiz…kk…why am I beating round the bush!!..oh yea…spice up a bit la..!!…kk…so all of us started bekhayal so far away la…fantasizing then I saw things going out of control…so…I quickly brought all of us down to earth, my principle..

        so this might be a little sensitive gurls..em…I said that em..mostly females…will need a someone to depend on when they become young adults,because em their looks were em going to "expire"..and all that amd a whole load of crap I said la…so SORRRYY!!!..honestly!!!…basically what I was trying to say is …we should have the i-depend-on-me attitude..other than I and God…we should depend on no one else….but that thought I think was starting to poison me suttlely..I was starting to  fall in to the trap of…I and I and I and I..you must understand that all these were the effect of  serious emotional pressure and feeling people have taken advantage out of your weakness..especially the person that you THOUGHT would always be there for you during any trial…so can say la,my whole perspective towards life changed..I secretly prayed for a rock solid hard as the days pass by..I was confortably living this life for a few months can say la…nothing seemed to be going wrong…my grades werent dropping…and lately I have suddenly been feeling the value of friends…and I realise how short my time is left in this house…being a boy..when I leave,there is a slim chance of coming back…i already started planning my future..but I still kept God in mind and kept saying with every hope.."God-willing"..   

        This is the part where faith gave me a hard wrap on the head of my spirit..Cisco was suppose to go back at about 6.30….and he was perfectly all rite with it…but his dad suddenly came at about 4.45…so much earlier..and he came without any notice..okey..that was faith’s 1st strike…Sid had to leave at 5 and he did,so that was planned,that was allrite…so when they all left,i decided to take my bike and go for a cycle..***earlier in the mornin Cisco was askin how far I could make the bike "jump"***…so I was with my bro…we were going real slow…we were talkin bout rollerblades…***you can clearly see my love for something extreme***…..anyways after that I accidentally bumped into my brothers back wheel…was juz a lil bump,he thought I did it on purpose so after another few feet he allegedly pulled his brakes..makin the front wheel of my bike bump into his back wheel again…dis time a lil bit harder…strike 2..I   got a lil angry and told him, its not my bike that was sustaining any damage,but his,..I was a lil angry,there were lil sparks comin out from me…but It was nothin la…so I cooled within a few seconds..em..he sped off..he started jumpin over the bumps, then as he passed by me from the opposite direction he said "How far can you "jump"?"..so i thot I’d join in the fun…this was nothing new to me…I have been cycling since I was 5…cycling at my housing area since 6..so its exactly 10 years la..I have cycled at great speeds…not boasting but its because Iha no one else to dwell with or do anything else…nyways back to the stosry…so..I cycled a lil far back…gained some speed…and went off…I can confidently saying I was doing at least 50 kilo metres per hour..and I went off…the road was clear…and I was suppose to jump off the 1st bump I saw…but before I could pull my handle bar…the front wheel came off!!!..at that speed!!!…STRIKE 3!!!…as soon as the wheel came off…it’s either I blacked out or couldnt remember what happened..according to my brother,this was what happened…

   According to Calvin: My brother,Calvin,was a few feet away from me..say 12??..when the front wheel came off,ihe said he heard a a loud sound,BANG!!..and he said he turned..and saw me still on the bike…the front part of the bike hit the speed breaker with me still on it,then the bike bounced of the ground…the bike and I were both air borne…the bike was then later higher than me ***wat do you expect??it was <16kg without the wheel.this info is crucial for ya’ll to know for the later part of the story***while i was in the air..the "fork" that was holding t he wheel hit the back of my head real hard..so then I landed on the ground real hard…my spectacles broke into a million peices as they were frameless…he said I was out for about 10 seconds or so..then later I was standing up in my neighbour’s place,David,..I was aking what happened to me??..Why is there blood??..I din feel pain..maybe I was that confused…I was later taken back home…

      I saw looked at t he mirror at home when I came home…It was BLOODY RED!!!…I could see a deep cut just above my lip…I was fuming mad!!!..I stomped the ground..and shouted!!!"Why me!?!?!?…Why must this happen to me?!?!?!…What the hell have I done wrong?!!?!?"..It was just anger,hardly any tears,I was a LIL sad that my face sustained such damage..but I was FUMING MAD because I was angry at God for that few seconds..because memories of other bad thiongs came flooding into my mind…that’s it..I was saying my prayers…I said sorry…even I knew that I was safe,I was afraid that I was going to suffer short term memories…but God gave me strength,he din let me cry…I just closed my eyes as my mother tried cleaning my wounds in vain…then I just started talkin to my mum what happened that day, like nothing ever happened…she tried to remain cool..but her love was visible thru the frowns on her head…I was just calm…preparing myself for the worst..

        I went to the hospital..with a couple of famliy friends-they came all the way from seremban-and dad after he came back…I went into the Accident & Emergency  ward..the staffs did the dressing…my face was still bleeding badly,but thank goodness that part of my brain that was to feel pain shut off,i think…I suffered major skin loss at my nose…and various parts on the right side of my face…I also fractured my nose..but the deep tear above my lip was most crucial…it can cause me deformity..thank goodness a plastic surgeon came along,he could reduce the risk of deformity..if anybody else did it,the story would have been different…so i underwent surgery on Saturday morning..3 hour long…was under general anasthatheics,so I din feel any pain because "pengsan" ad…I was in the hospital for seven days and some stitching is going to be removed this Saturday..right now…the skin is healing..but it’s going to take a lot of time la…maybe 6 months but scars would still  be visible….but never mind…       

    Thinkin about it,though God allowed this to happen he still protected me…The glass pieces could have entered  my eye..I could have lost my sight…I could have become paralyzed or suffered brain damage…considering the amount of impact I received on the back of my head…I am thankful,and not to worried bout my face…I’ll snap a picture and let ya’ll see haha…it’s BAD believe me,but that’snot going  to stop me…NOPE!!!…nobody can believe that I had a BICYCLE accident!!!..that is why,this is all faith,clearly there is a reason for this thing…some sort of message which I am still trying to figure out….but one thing I discovered…I always though there was no one there for me,but with the amount of visitors I had…I can only look up to heaven and smile…..I am speechless…my friends have proven to be true,at least,of every wrong thing I have done…God has guided me to choose this hearts of GOLD..Amen to that….Another funny thing is…I broke my elbow at 6,  broke the foot at 12…and now the face at 16…i thought something was suppose to happen at 18!!…haiz…but I am done already la…I think this is enough…I already got a nice collection of X-ray that I can show my children…LOL….the other funny thing was…Sid called me Michael Jackson on friday because I wanted to depend on no one….betul betul jadi oh!!!…hahaha….from CJ to MJ….       

    I was afraid  that I was going to loose my love for doing something extreme, I was so afraid to look at the boy in the mirror…it looked more like a devil…but at the last day at the hospital…when my class mates walked in again….when they made me smile from ear to ear even though it hurt so bad….I knew where my place was and that’s when I realise my prayer was answered..my heart was impenetrable towards peoples looks and thoughts of me…let it be..people always did say my face potray someone evil and sly eventhough I am not..and now I look like a terrorist..but its okey..I WILL get back on my wheels…dis time with full safety gear…and I will skate….this spiritual attribute isn’t easy to obtain…but thru the power of the most high…HE  has thought me well to pick myself up…and soar again!!..hopefully I’ll be a living testimony to those who think they are junk…       

To God be the Glory,
Chris J